Marriage: A Delicate Balance Between Heaven and Hell
Marriage is like fine Jingdezhen porcelain – exquisitely crafted, precious, and valuable. Once shattered, can it ever be restored? How many compromises does a real marriage entail?
A harmonious marriage is a safe harbor for ships, a warm nest for weary birds, a vast prairie for wild horses, a cherished flower for butterflies, a paradise for wanderers, and a crystal-clear pool for fish to swim freely. All successful marriages share this remarkable similarity in their sweetness, warmth, harmony, and joy.
Conversely, a failed marriage resembles a smoke-filled battlefield, a cold and dark hell, an endless night of insomnia, a bitter cup of poison. In these ruins of failure, there are no winners – both spouses fall defeated. The severe damage affects not only their tortured souls but also their young children.
Such wounds leave lifelong scars that rarely heal. Some people completely break down in the ruins of marriage, losing their sanity or even sacrificing their precious lives and youth. These grey marriages become life-consuming swamps, far more toxic than any prison walls.
Marriage is like a mountain peak with two distinctly different worlds on either side: paradise on one slope and hell on the other. The distance between them is just one step.
A Client’s Journey
Mrs. Zheng had lived within her marital “fortress” for years. When her husband’s affair emerged last year, it struck like lightning from a clear sky. Unwilling to let her carefully built home crumble and determined to protect her child from a broken family, she came to me for help. Through environmental adjustments, we managed to stabilize her family situation.
During our recent consultation:
“Although you’re still harboring internal conflicts, your life has reached a relatively stable state now,” I began, “He’s no longer in contact with that woman.”
“Home is our basic living space, but I believe he’ll never change his nature,” Mrs. Zheng responded with lingering resentment.
“While he might not completely change his ways, you remain most important to him. He won’t seek divorce,” I assured her.
“Last November, you predicted my uterine condition, which was confirmed by surgery. After your adjustments, my husband has improved and comes home more often. I just want him to stop pursuing other women so I can live peacefully. These conflicts greatly affect our child. How is my child’s academic situation?”
“Your child is only utilizing 10% of their potential. Their grades are unstable, fluctuating significantly. More concerning is their mental state – I’m seeing signs of suicidal thoughts.”
“You’re absolutely right! She threatened suicide if she doesn’t get into high school. Please help my child succeed in the entrance exam and avoid poor-quality schools. She’s very intelligent, but her recent test scores were low. Can she pass the exam?”
“She has a good chance this year, though she’s experiencing insomnia and other issues.”
“I don’t want her in a vocational school. I hope she can attend a better school, though I’m not expecting top institutions. Her suicide threats terrify me – even adults struggle with setbacks, how can a child handle such pressure!”
Understanding her maternal concerns, I analyzed her husband’s character: “Your husband is very stubborn and inflexible in his thinking.”
“Yes, he argues with me frequently, sometimes becomes violent, throws things, and threatens to ruin my reputation at work. He’s unstable and unkind to our child too. Please help improve his mindset and help our child pass the exam safely. We need peace of mind.”
“Through our traditional methods, we can address these issues. Your child’s academic performance will improve, and your marriage will develop positively. However, you must also mind your behavior – your words often carry thorns that can hurt others.”
“Yes, I sometimes can’t control my tongue and say whatever comes to mind when I’m upset. I haven’t followed your previous advice, but I’ll be more careful! Could you check if I have any health issues?”
“Your digestive system is slightly weak, and your blood pressure fluctuates, but there are no major concerns.”
“Lastly, could you identify my daughter’s critical condition?”
“It’s a neurological condition, affecting her mental state. There seems to be a spiritual attachment that’s been present for some time.”
“Yes, she was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome at age six.”
“Follow my instructions, and you’ll see improvements in both her studies and health.”
“Thank you! I’ll definitely return to thank you properly when things improve!”
“Face life with a smile and maintain perspective. Remember: marriages are predestined connections – whether positive or negative, they exist for a reason. Children come to us with their own karmic ties. Understanding and accepting these relationships while learning to let go is the key to moving forward!”